Are you ready to embark on a journey of reality living? It’s time to challenge the myths that have held you captive in your troubled marriage. Brace yourself for an eye-opening adventure as we unveil the truth and empower you to break free from the shackles of misconception.
Reality living begins with a deep examination of your beliefs. It’s time to expose the myths that have been clouding your judgment. Once you identify them for what they are—mere myths, not truths—you can begin to liberate yourself from their grasp. It’s time to align your actions with reality and truth, leaving behind the falsehoods that have hindered your progress.
Reality living demands that you take ownership of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. No more shifting blame or playing the victim. It’s time to honestly assess your life situation and refuse to let others dictate your happiness. You hold the key to your own fulfillment.
Now, let’s have some fun! Take a look at the following four statements and answer them honestly with a true or false:
- My environment determines my state of mind.
- People cannot change.
- In a desperate marriage, I have only two options resigning myself to a life of misery or getting out of the marriage.
- Some situations are hopeless and my situation is one of these.
If you found yourself nodding along with any of these statements, hold on tight. Brace yourself for a reality check! In fact, all four statements are false. Sadly, many individuals trapped in desperate marriages have based their lives on these widespread misconceptions.
By accepting any of these myths, you inadvertently become part of the problem rather than the solution. Let’s delve into the outcomes of embracing and acting upon each of these myths, and get ready for some myth-busting revelations!
Myth Number One: My environment determines my state of mind.
In today’s common narrative, we are often painted as victims of our surroundings. But let’s challenge that perspective! This myth manifests in statements like:
“If I grew up in a loving, supportive family, I will be a loving, supportive person.” “If I grew up in a dysfunctional family, then I am destined to fail in relationships.” “If I am married to an alcoholic husband, I will live a miserable life.” “My emotional state depends on the actions of my spouse.”
This victim mentality renders us powerless in the face of a hostile environment. It fosters hopelessness and often leads to depression. But guess what? Your environment may influence you, but it does not hold ultimate control over you. Instead of surrendering to victimhood, you can overcome obstacles, no matter how daunting they may seem. Just look at historical figures like Helen Keller, Franklin Roosevelt, or countless others who triumphed over adversity. Your marriage and your life need not be dictated or destroyed by external circumstances.
Myth Number Two: People cannot change.
Ah, the belief that once we reach adulthood, our personality traits and behavior patterns solidify in stone. But let’s challenge this notion! Those who buy into this myth argue that if a spouse has exhibited certain behaviors for an extended period, they are bound to continue down that path.
For example, a wife might assume her husband, who engaged in promiscuity before and after marriage, is forever addicted to such behavior. Or a husband might believe his financially irresponsible wife will always remain financially irresponsible.
But here’s the truth: people can and do change! Just head to any library and you’ll find biographies of adults who have undergone radical transformations. Take Saint Augustine, who once lived for pleasure but later transformed his life. Or consider the late Charles Colson, who repented for his role in the Watergate scandal and went on to offer spiritual help to prisoners worldwide. Change is possible, and it often manifests in remarkable ways.
Myth Number Three: In a troubled marriage, I have only two options resigning myself to a life of misery or getting out of the marriage.
Brace yourself, because this myth limits your horizons to two equally devastating choices. Thousands of people find themselves trapped in self-made prisons because they believe in this myth of limited options.
Let’s meet Shannon and David, who once embraced this myth. For fifteen years, they endured misery and contemplated divorce. However, after six months of counseling, their perspectives shifted. David left the therapist’s office with a newfound appreciation for his wife, while Shannon discovered the possibility of rekindling their love. They shattered the bonds of this myth, and so can you. Your desperate marriage doesn’t have to be a life sentence of unhappiness or a hasty escape through divorce. There are alternatives.
Myth Number Four: Some situations are hopeless—and my situation is one of these.
This myth convinces us that while there may be hope for others, our own marriage is a lost cause. Deep wounds and irreparable damage lead us to believe there is no way out. This line of thinking plunges us into depression, and in extreme cases, even contemplation of suicide.
Consider Lisa’s heartbreaking story. She witnessed her father murder her mother before taking his own life when she was just ten years old. Undoubtedly, her father felt trapped in a hopeless situation. But here’s the truth: your marriage is not beyond hope. Despite years of struggle and well-meaning but discouraging advice from others, you mustn’t succumb to this myth. Your marriage can be healed, and there is a way forward.
So, dear reader, as we embark on this article series, let’s bid farewell to these myths that have plagued desperate marriages for far too long. Together, we will explore the nature of problems in desperate marriages and empower you to dismiss these misconceptions. Brace yourself for a thrilling journey toward healing, where divorce is not the only exit sign.